I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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