I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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