I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize