talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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