I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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