can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
