Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
