i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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