K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Me too!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
