If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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