Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
