i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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