Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
