Whod you bang
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
