that's an acceptable place to lick
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
