remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
