Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
