if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have fence marks all over my body
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
