yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
