Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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