capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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