You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
