My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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