Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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