I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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