3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
