the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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