Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
