I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
