Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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