if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
