That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
