pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
