ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
