In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
