She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
