So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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