so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
