everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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