420 ftw
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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