In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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