If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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