Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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