Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
