man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I had to cum in my sink.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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