My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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