I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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