I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
