Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We need a shit load of segways right now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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