where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
