Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
